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'Supernatural' Star Jared Padalecki Talks Depression and Why You Should 'Always Keep Fighting'

来源：https://variety.com/2015/tv/people-news/jared-padalecki-always-keep-fighting-depression-suicide-twloha-1201451708/

翻译：@雷拉Layla

Beta：@某苏_深陷SPN不可自拔 @总攻头上有呆毛

Variety: How did the campaign come about?

综艺杂志：怎么想起来搞这个活动的？

Padalecki: I, for a long time, have been passionate about people dealing with mental illness and struggling with depression, or addiction, or having suicidal thoughts and, strangely enough, it's almost like the life I live, as well. These characters that we play on "Supernatural", Sam and Dean, are always dealing with something greater than themselves, and I've sort of learned from the two of them that they get through it with each other, and with help and with support. And I, in the past, have had my own struggles of not [being] so happy with where I am in life, which is strange and I think it goes to show. … Maybe a lot of people don't know this, but Season 3, we were shooting an episode, and I went back to my trailer to get changed and just kind of broke down.

Jared：很长时间以来，我都很关注人们面对精神疾病还有与抑郁、成瘾症状或者自杀倾向的抗争，说来奇怪，这差不多也就是我的生活。我们在Supernatural中扮演的角色，Sam和Dean，一直都在应对超出自身层面的重大事件，而我也从他们二人身上学到，他们是靠着彼此，靠着帮助和支持共度难关的。我过去也因为对自己在生活中的定位并不开心而有过自己的挣扎，这挺奇怪的，而它也证明了……也许很多人并不知道这件事，其实在第三季时，我们正在拍某集的戏，我回到自己拖车换衣服，然后就崩溃了。

A doctor came to set and talked to me for about 30 minutes or 45 minutes and said: "Jared, I think you're clinically depressed. I think I should write you a note and we can shut down production for five days and then we can take it from there." And it kind of hit me like a sack of bricks. I mean, I was 25 years old. I had my own TV show. I had dogs that I loved and tons of friends and I was getting adoration from fans and I was happy with my work, but I couldn't figure out what it was; it doesn't always make sense is my point. It's not just people who can't find a job, or can't fit in in society that struggle with depression sometimes.

医生来到片场跟我谈了30到45分钟，然后说：“Jared，我认为你是抑郁了。我觉得我该给你写个假条，停5天的工，然后我们来接手之后的事。”这重重地击中了我，简直像一麻袋的砖块砸了过来。我才25岁，我有自己主演的电视剧，我有我爱的狗狗，有许许多多的朋友，粉丝们对我满怀爱慕，我对自己的工作很高兴，但我根本想不出这是怎么回事。我的意思是，并不是所有事都能想出个所以然。有些时候它并不是那种找不到工作或者融入不了社会的抑郁挣扎。

Luckily, two of my great friends, Jensen who everybody knows very well, and my friend Kelly who I work with, came to my trailer to check in on me and talked to me for probably an hour or so and then, I was like, "All right guys, I'm going through a tough time right now. I don't know what it is, but I'm just going to keep my legs moving. I'm going to keep fighting." They let me go that day. They were like, "Hey buddy, go home. Call your family, and you're off work. Come back to work tomorrow."

幸运的是，我有两位好朋友，一个是大家都很熟悉的Jensen，另一个是我的同事Kelly，他们两个来到我的拖车里看看我是否还好，跟我聊了有一个小时。然后我说，“好了朋友们，我现在正是困难时期。我不知道这是怎么回事，但我还是要坚持走下去的。我会坚持抗争。”那天他们就放我走了。他们说，“嘿伙计，回家吧。给家人打打电话，放个假。明天再回来工作。”

So I went home, and the next day I showed up for work and just kind of gradually got better, but it's something that I've been passionate about for a while. Then, Mr. Amell himself did a T-shirt campaign to raise money for F— Cancer and as soon as that happened, I think I saw him over the summer, he came to visit me in Austin and he was like, "It's incredible. The fans have rallied around this great cause and are helping raise awareness."

于是我回了家，第二天回来工作，渐渐感觉有所好转，但这件事我一直都很挂心。后来Amell先生（Stephen Amell，糖哥）办了一个为F-Cancer（Fuck Cancer，“癌症滚粗”，官网请点这里 ）募捐的T恤义卖活动，这个活动开始时，我记得就是夏天，他来奥斯汀看我，他说，“这真是难以置信，粉丝们都团结起来支持这项事业，并且帮助大家提高（及早发现治疗癌症的）意识。”

Obviously, cancer is fairly ubiquitous, and if you don't have cancer, you know somebody who does. My father has cancer and has had for many years. I've lost many people to cancer. Our show has lost somebody incredible, Kim Manners, to cancer.

显然，癌症简直无所不在，如果你自己没得癌症，你肯定也认识得了癌症的人。我的父亲患癌症已有多年。癌症夺去了我周围很多人的生命。SPN这部剧也因为癌症失去了一个了不起的人，Kim Manners。

So people are aware — though it still can use all the awareness and research funds possible — and it occurred to me in the back of my head that this was something that I wanted … I didn't mention it then, but a charity dealing with depression and addiction and suicidal thoughts and mental illness was something that I would love to do this T-shirt for, whenever it happened.

所以大家意识到了这个问题——当然，越多人警醒越好，研究资金投入得越多越好——而这让我想到，这就是我想要的效果……我没在当时提出来，但是我会很乐意用义卖T恤来支持对抗抑郁、成瘾、自杀倾向和精神疾病的慈善活动。

Finally, I guess it was in January, Stephen was like, "Dude, you've dragged your feet long enough, let's get this going. What do you want to do? What kind of shirt do you want?" And I was like, "All right," and I had just lost another friend — not the first friend, unfortunately, I've lost to suicide — but I lost a friend here in Vancouver who I knew for 10 years and he lost his battle with depression.

最后，我想大概是一月份，Stephen说，“哥们儿，你拖得够久了，咱们赶紧搞起这个活动吧。你想做什么呢？你想做什么样的T恤？”我说好吧，后来我又有一个朋友不在人世了——很不幸，因为自杀而离开我的朋友，这不是第一个——这个朋友就在温哥华，我认识他有十年了，他输掉了这场对抗抑郁的战斗。

So I was like, "All right, this just makes sense." Funnily enough, we were doing a show specifically about suicide and it was like the world beating me over the head with a stick: This is what you need to do. This is what you can help raise awareness and funds for and help to start a conversation to hopefully destigmatize these things that people are — for no good reason — ashamed to have, and there's no shame in it.

所以我说，“好吧，有道理。”有趣的是，我们那时刚好在拍一集有关自杀的戏，这像是当头一棒：这就是你需要做的事。这就是你能帮上忙的事，帮助大家提高意识，募集资金，开展对话交流，希望能为大家无缘无故耻于承认的这些事正名，因为这并不羞耻。

I say constantly that there's no shame in dealing with these things. There's no shame in having to fight every day, but fighting every day, and presumably, if you're still alive to hear these words or read this interview, then you are winning your war. You're here. You might not win every battle. There are going to be some really tough days. There might be several tough times in any given single day, but hopefully, this will help somebody to think, "This isn't easy, it is a fight, but I'm going to keep fighting," and that's why we did this shirt.

我总是说有这些问题并不羞耻。每天都需要与其抗争也并不羞耻，每天都在抗争，或者说，如果你还活着听到这些话语或是读到这篇访谈，那你就是赢得了自己的斗争。你做到了。你可能不会赢得所有战斗，有一些日子非常难熬。也许某一天中的某些时候也会非常难捱，但希望这个活动能帮助某人思考，“这并不容易，这就是一场战斗，但我会坚持抗争。”这就是我们做这个T恤义卖的原因。

Then they insisted that I have my face on it, which I really didn't want [laughs]. But they convinced me that it would help add a connection and help maybe start a conversation, as opposed to, if you see a shirt that says "Always Keep Fighting" and there's nothing on it, they might think somebody is a UFC fan or something. But if you see some floppy-haired weirdo with that message, you might think, "That doesn't make any sense, guy doesn't look like he's fighting." Maybe they'll question it and someone who's wearing the shirt is brave enough to say, "You know, I've dealt with some stuff in my past," or "My loved ones deal with some stuff," and "Every day is a fight for me. Maybe not every day anymore. Maybe once a week or once a month, or once a year … but I remembered to always keep fighting."

他们坚持要在上面印上我自己的脸，其实我是拒绝的（大笑）。但他们劝我说这会增加交流的可能，也许人们会因为这个搭上话，相反如果你看见一件衣服上除了印着Always Keep Fighting之外啥也没有，他们可能就觉得这人是个UFC（终极格斗锦标赛）的粉丝什么的吧。但如果你看见衣服上印着一个有着蓬松头发的怪人再加上这句话，你可能就会想，“这完全没道理啊，这货看起来不像在打架”，也许他们就会提出问题，而穿着这件衣服的人可能就会鼓起勇气说，“我是在与某些往事进行抗争”，或是“我所爱的人在与之抗争”，还有“每天对我来说都是一场战斗。也许现在不是每天都是，可能一周一次或者一月一次，或者一年一次……但我会记得要坚持抗争”。

I didn't want to say, "Never Give Up," because to me, when you say "never give up," it makes it sound like you're being beaten down. It puts you on the defense, as if your only option is either to give up or to get beaten up.

我不想写“永不放弃”，因为对我来说，你说“永不放弃”感觉就像是你已经被打倒了一样。这把你放在了防守的位置，就好像你仅有的选择就是放弃或者被打倒。

I don't want somebody to wake up and say, "Don't give up today. I hope this isn't the day I get beaten down." I want somebody to wake up and brush their teeth and think to themselves like, "Today's not going to be easy. Today's going to be a fight, but I'm going to fight."

我不想让人一觉醒来说：“今天不要放弃。希望我不会在今天被打倒。”我想要人一觉醒来，刷着牙，思考着“今天可能会很难熬。今天就是一场战斗，但我会坚持抗争。”

Not like, "I hope this doesn't beat me," but "I'm going to continue to beat this today and every time it gets tough." And if you're struggling with addiction and whatever your addiction is, drugs, or booze, or food — walking past a pizza with your name on it and you just know where that leads, just treat it as a fight. Instead of saying "I hope I don't give in," I want people to say to themselves, "I'm going to win this fight."

不是“我希望自己不会被打倒”，而是“无论是今天还是任何一个难熬的时刻，我都会继续战斗”。如果你因为有成瘾症状而困扰，不管你是对什么上瘾，毒品，酒精或者食物——路过一片写着你的名字的披萨，你知道这会导致什么后果，那么把它当做一场战斗吧。别说“我希望自己不会屈服”，我希望大家能对自己说，“我会赢得这场战斗”。

Even if there are a thousand small fights, even if every other minute you're thinking about suicide, or depression, or addiction, or if you have mental illness, I want people to hit it head on and take action. And to be proud that they're winning their fight, period.

尽管有着成千上万场小小的战斗，每一分每一秒你都想着自杀，或是抑郁，或是成瘾，或是患有精神疾病，我希望大家能迎头痛击这些问题，行动起来，并为自己能够赢得战斗而自豪。

I am consistently awed by our fans and by the community that is aware of these shirts and supporting it and being vocal about it and I've read some amazing posts on Twitter and Facebook about people who are saying, "I've been depressed for so long. I'm embarrassed to talk about it, but it's going to help me talk about it," and I think that's such a big step. It takes that. Bearing your struggles alone, I don't think we'll get very far.

我为粉丝们还有注意到这些T恤的人对它的支持和声援而惊叹。我在脸书和推特上读过一些很棒的帖子，内容是大家在诉说“我抑郁了很长时间，我耻于谈论这一点，这个活动能帮助我开口谈论它”，我想这是一个很大的进步。这是必经的过程。如果要独自忍受自己的挣扎，我们就前进不了多远了。

Variety: You recently wrote in a Facebook post that the episode you were filming when the shirt launched also deals with suicide. Was it just coincidental timing?

综艺杂志：你最近在一条脸书帖子上写到，在这个活动举办的同时你正在拍一集有关自杀的戏。这时间是个巧合吗？

Padalecki: Yeah, a bit coincidental. I mean, "Supernatural" does already sort of deal with [those themes] … every season, Sam and Dean are dealing with something greater than themselves and they have to either rely on the help of another, or a greater influence to help them get through it.

Jared：是啊，有点巧合吧。其实Supernatural已经拍过（这些主题）了……每一季里，Sam和Dean都在应对超出自身层面的重大问题，而他们要么只能依靠对方的帮助，要么有更大的势力帮助他们度过难关。

It was sort of coincidental that this [was the] episode that we happened to be shooting during the launch of the T-shirt — I knew what the T-shirt was going to be, and I knew what the charity was going to be weeks ago when we were shooting three episodes ago. I didn’t know when we were going to launch. I didn't know if it was going to be after the T-shirt was done, or after whenever it takes to print a silk screen, and I fought tooth and nail to not have my face on the picture … [laughs]. So it just so happened that we launched while we were doing scenes about characters who had their battle. So yeah, it was a remarkable coincidence.

这集刚好是在T恤义卖活动举办的时候拍摄的，这倒是有点巧合。我之前知道T恤会是什么样，我在好几周之前，还有三集才拍到这集的时候，就知道这个慈善活动是什么内容。但我不知道这个活动什么时候上线。我不知道它是等T恤做好了再开始，还是等丝网制版完成后再开始，而且我拼死反对他们把我的脸印上去……（大笑）。所以刚好是我们拍这些角色拼搏在自己的战斗中时，活动上线了。所以，是的，这是个意想不到的巧合。

Obviously, this show is very fantastical. You know, people die and they come back to life, there are zombies and ghosts and demons and angels, so in a sense, it's a sci-fi show, but in my opinion, what the science-fiction genre allows us to do is openly talk about various human issues and very important themes and there are things that are difficult to do on [other] shows … we're able to tell a story without shoving the story down the audience's throat.

当然，SPN有很多幻想元素。角色死后还能复生，有僵尸有鬼魂有恶魔有天使，所以在某种意义上说，这是部科幻剧，但在我看来，科幻题材让我们能够坦率地谈论人们的种种问题，谈论那些重要的主题，其他电视剧不方便呈现的问题……我们不用刻板地说教就可以呈现给大家。

We're able to tell it in a very "Supernatural" way … we're not saying people are legitimately possessed by demons, but if you're possessed by an urge to do a drug or to harm yourself, or to beat yourself down, then, you have to beat those demons as we try to do on "Supernatural."

我们可以用非常“Supernatural”的方式展示出来……不是说大家真的会被恶魔附身，而是说如果你被毒瘾或自残、自暴自弃的想法所“附身”，那么你得打败那些恶魔，就像我们在Supernatural中所做的一样。

"Supernatural" returns on a new night, Wednesday, March 18, at 9 p.m. on the CW. You can buy Padalecki's shirt to benefit TWLOHA at Represent.com.

Supernatural新的播出时间改在周三，新的一集将于3月18日周三晚9点（北京时间3月19日周四早9点）在CW台回归。想要支持TWLOHA（To Write Love on Her Arms，在她手臂上书写爱，Jared的T恤义卖所得款项会捐给这个非营利组织），Jared的义卖T恤可在https://Represent.com/Jared 购买。给国内朋友们的小小购买指南请点这里。

Always Keep Fighting. 永远坚持抗争。